Talking to Children About Violence: Tips for Families and Educators

By the National Association of School Psychologists

This advice, prepared by the NASP, lists ten steps that adults can take to help children feel safe when they encounter reports of violence.

1. Reassure children that they are safe. Children need to know that schools are among the safest environments.
2. Validate children’s feelings. Children need to talk about how they feel, but they need to know that adults are trying to solve the problems.
3. Make time to talk. Patience is required to allow children to take the lead in the timing of the conversations. Drawing and picture books may help the youngest ones.
4. Keep your explanations developmentally appropriate. Young elementary students should be provided with simple explanations and reassurance of safety. Those in older elementary and middle school might need help in sorting out fantasy from reality. Older middle school and high school students can share their opinions and suggestions about how to keep safe.
5. Review safety procedures. Also, help students find an adult that they feel comfortable confiding in.
6. Observe children’s emotional state. Students who have experienced trauma may have stronger reactions to events. If a teacher or parent is concerned, getting help from a mental health professional is recommended.
7. Limit access to television and social media attention to these events. Adults need to be careful about what they say in front of children and recognize that ” exposure to vengeful, hateful, and angry comments that might be misunderstood.”
8. Correct misinformation. Rumors can increase anxiety, and children need to be reassured that the police and other authorities have the most accurate information.
9. Maintain a normal routine. It is important that children have a regular schedule for sleep, meals, and schoolwork.
10. Talk about steps children and youth can take to make a positive difference. Taking action can build resilience and reduce stress.

The article also lists talking points, some of which can be found in the list above.

• Encourage reporting information, but not tattling or gossiping.
• Help students understand probability: “the chance of getting injured or killed at school is about 1 in 450,000”
• Follow a routine to reduce anxiety.
• Be sure that children recognize that violence cannot solve personal problems.

“Students can be part of the positive solution by participating in antiviolence programs at school, learning conflict mediation skills, and seeking help from adults if they are or a peer is struggling with anger, depression, or other emotions they cannot control.”

You can find more information here.